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Cheryl Newell
Joined: 15 Jul 2005
Posts: 7
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 Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 12:23 pm Post subject: Group Home Implementation |
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Hi everyone,
I need help with implemetation at a foster-care group home. When a child is given a time-out and they delay taking it until the caregiver gets up to "help them" to time-out (thus leading to a hold or in our facility a time-out room), what is the best approach honoring the child's "right" to be in the least restrictive environment. The child is trying to get "more" from the adult through negativity either way, through the drama of being "helped" to time-out, or by getting what essentially is a second chance to take the time-out after being instructed to do so.
Thanks for your input! |
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Cheryl
Joined: 13 Apr 2007
Posts: 15
Location: Palm Bay, Florida
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| Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 12:35 am Post subject: One Year Later... |
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I never did thank you Jan for your personal reply last year. Thank you!
Time-outs are not to much of an issue. For the older kids, the highest prize is the communication that is witheld until the time-out is completed. They may choose to play with stuff and be defiant by watching the TV etc. when they are not allowed to. (This is due to the fact that we have a household of 16 kids, it is not easy at times to control the physical environment.) However, I can say this; what eventually brings them back to success, is that they really miss the "time-in" communication. We just tell them to let us know when they are ready to start their time-out. Until that happens, they get no communication with us or from their peers.
Thanks!
Cheryl from Palm Bay |
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JZaktansky
Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 18
Location: Central Pennsylvania
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| Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 8:11 am Post subject: Re: One Year Later... |
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| Cheryl wrote: | I never did thank you Jan for your personal reply last year. Thank you!
Time-outs are not to much of an issue. For the older kids, the highest prize is the communication that is witheld until the time-out is completed. They may choose to play with stuff and be defiant by watching the TV etc. when they are not allowed to. (This is due to the fact that we have a household of 16 kids, it is not easy at times to control the physical environment.) However, I can say this; what eventually brings them back to success, is that they really miss the "time-in" communication. We just tell them to let us know when they are ready to start their time-out. Until that happens, they get no communication with us or from their peers.
Thanks!
Cheryl from Palm Bay |
I like the idea of withholding communication until the child is complying. This was one area that I was worried about as I prepare to change our group home program in central PA over to NHA principles.
Another big question I have as I work towards preparations to train staff and start this program is how to handle kids who break major rules (We call them Cardinal rules). In these, I'm talking about runaway issues, smuggling cigarette and other contraband onsite, etc. It is tough, because in the past, it was these types of behaviors that caught staff in the trap of energizing the negative. |
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heartswell
Joined: 03 May 2007
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 11:25 pm Post subject: Cheryl, John, |
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How are things going?
_________________
Jan, MOMmm! (Masters Of Motherhood, Mentoring & Motivation! |
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Cheryl
Joined: 13 Apr 2007
Posts: 15
Location: Palm Bay, Florida
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| Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 7:31 am Post subject: More on our little man |
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Hi there,
Our child's antics are up again. However, the cause seems to be that the consequences are not being enforced. It is very clear to me that all three stands must be in place. However, it takes all the direct players in his life on first, second and third shift to realize this to make this work. Unfortunately, as I write this, this is not the case.
Bummed Out in Palm Bay |
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heartswell
Joined: 03 May 2007
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 11:58 pm Post subject: Cheryl, hang in there. |
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I appreciate the update -- and I'm sure that the child in question is really asking for all three components to be in place --- relentless pursuit of the positive, not being drawn into negativity and being strict in enforcing the rules and consequences with as little energy as possible.
I know that you can't be there 24/7, but I wonder if the "God is watching" could play into this scenario and possibly help him make the turn again. Maybe even leaving a note recognizing some sort of accomplishment reported to you or another staffer could have the desired effect to re-route and get back under the radar and start to fill that portfolio of his with successes again.
Just a thought... if you need to talk, feel free to call or we can chat on Yahoo or Aim. Email me and let's see what we can come up that will work and make a difference in this child's life.
_________________
Jan, MOMmm! (Masters Of Motherhood, Mentoring & Motivation! |
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JZaktansky
Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 18
Location: Central Pennsylvania
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| Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 11:56 pm Post subject: Re: More on our little man |
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| Cheryl wrote: | Hi there,
Our child's antics are up again. However, the cause seems to be that the consequences are not being enforced. It is very clear to me that all three stands must be in place. However, it takes all the direct players in his life on first, second and third shift to realize this to make this work. Unfortunately, as I write this, this is not the case.
Bummed Out in Palm Bay |
I feel your pain. I keep running into staff that seem to think that the kids should be consequenced non-stop. They don't take the time everyday to set up the positives, but you better believe if the child acts out, they lay on the consequences thickly. Why is it that staff can be this way -- it's almost like they are afraid that the kids may think they're weak or will lose their clout with the kids. It's almost like an ego thing. |
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jan
Joined: 03 May 2007
Posts: 68
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| Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 12:23 pm Post subject: John! |
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Thank for bringing us up to date....
The visual image of the 3-legged table may be something you could do to put things into perspective for the staff. Or maybe just going back over the 3 stands again in a note or memo.
#1 I will not be drawn into negativity.
#2 I will relentlessly pursue the positive (- hijacking them into success if necessary)
#3 I will stricty enforce the rules
It really is easy to fall back into old patterns when things appear to be going well. Our consistentcy fails -- not the kids'. When the kids realize the boundaries are wavy, they will test -- thus it does become a "power" struggle between staff (parents) and child. If all three legs are firmly planted again, both staffer and child are empowered and finding successes throughout the day and flourishing in the joys of building a positive portfolio - not being bogged down with lots of negativity.
And maybe, the staffers need a little nurturing as well.
_________________
Jan, MOMmm! (Masters Of Motherhood, Mentoring & Motivation! |
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JZaktansky
Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 18
Location: Central Pennsylvania
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| Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 1:27 pm Post subject: Re: John! |
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| jan wrote: | Thank for bringing us up to date....
The visual image of the 3-legged table may be something you could do to put things into perspective for the staff. Or maybe just going back over the 3 stands again in a note or memo.
#1 I will not be drawn into negativity.
#2 I will relentlessly pursue the positive (- hijacking them into success if necessary)
#3 I will stricty enforce the rules
It really is easy to fall back into old patterns when things appear to be going well. Our consistentcy fails -- not the kids'. When the kids realize the boundaries are wavy, they will test -- thus it does become a "power" struggle between staff (parents) and child. If all three legs are firmly planted again, both staffer and child are empowered and finding successes throughout the day and flourishing in the joys of building a positive portfolio - not being bogged down with lots of negativity.
And maybe, the staffers need a little nurturing as well. |
Oh, we're getting there. I just wanted Cheryl to know that her problem is somewhat universal -- that so much of this approach's success hinges on adults understanding that there is a better way and being humble enough to try something new consistently. If I have always peeled an orange the same way and someone came up to me and said they had a better way to peel an orange -- especially a difficult one -- I may hesitate because I could look at it as though the other person was insinuating that I didn't know what I was doing. In this case, it would be a "me" issue -- the other person was simply trying to help. If we can get all staff to look at things in a different way, then perhaps they'll realize that these program changes aren't because we think they are inadequate as a staff -- but that across the board we want to make things better for everyone. It's a program problem, not a staff problem, in essence.
I also am in the process of starting a new staff incentive where staff each get some play money with their regular paychecks. The play money is then to be handed out by staff to other staff that did something wonderful on the floor -- whether they filled in an extra shift, did a good job of de-escalating an upset youth, etc. The idea is to empower all staff to focus on the positive and work together as a team. |
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jan
Joined: 03 May 2007
Posts: 68
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| Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 10:50 am Post subject: John.... |
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you wrote:
| Quote: | | The idea is to empower all staff to focus on the positive and work together as a team. |
I love the choice of the word, empower! Thanks for sharing! The idea of acknowledging successes among staff is very powerful!
To your GREATNESS! YAY John!
_________________
Jan, MOMmm! (Masters Of Motherhood, Mentoring & Motivation! |
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Cheryl
Joined: 13 Apr 2007
Posts: 15
Location: Palm Bay, Florida
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| Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 8:54 pm Post subject: Empowered |
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Thank you both for your continued support!
I am pleased to report that two more staff are in training for NHA now. One is a male and also a primary caregiver for this young man. He is open to NHA concepts. I am relieved.
One thing this year has taught me is that I can and should do the leg work with implementation. However, I need to trust God with the results. They are His kids. It has been demonstrated time and time againn that at the very moments when I am discouraged the most, answers to prayer come.
You guys are intertwined with the answers! Thank you!
Empowered in Palm Bay |
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