difficultchild.com

[R]

What sentences or phrases do find to be powerful in giving recognitions?

[R]

"I especially appreciate that you (used a gentle voice / did your work so carefully / etc"

"I KNEW you could do it!!!!"

"Thanks for .....! That really shows (respect / caring etc.) !"

[pansy26]

I prefer to keep myself out of the rewarding. I really want to place the victory on them, so try to avoid saying things like " I really like how you...." . Instead I amp it up and aim it directly to them. WOW! Check out how quickly you put away your laundry, very impressive work. The first few times they'll think you've lost your marbles, but they'll seek the encouragement. Remember, we're a mirror reflecting them, but we really only reflect the good stuff or the absence of bad stuff.

[breathingisgood]

Sometimes I say "Yessssssss!"

But the "yes!" is drawn out and combined with a nodding sense of thoughtful recognition.

Othertimes I'll say nothing, but point towards the person and shake my head knowingly and appreciatively. It's my way of saying "right on" but without hoopla. It makes for a more quiet moment. It's initially not specifying what exactly is being acknowledged. But hopefully the context will be clear. Then later in the interaction, I may draw attention to it again.

[jamie]

IT somewhat depends on age. I find the following to be effective with a wide range of young people:

there you are showing great thoughtfuleness by.....

Your eyes are on your teacher,your hands are quiet, and you are listening with full attention that shows respect

i put the focus on their observable behavior and tie it to the character trait
jme
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When we get there we'll discover all the gifts we've been give to share. have been with us since life's beginnig and we never noticed they were there.

[Jan]

The object here is to create an entirely different, high-order trajectory in the nature of the positive statements we make to children. It is so easy to provide differentiated language when it comes to describing problems. it is so easy to wax poetically under those circumstances and in comparison, when it comes to successes; our language is typically so skimpy. We tend to make vague statements like thank you and good job that leave children wondering what exactly they have been appreciated for.

Taking language to the next level also propels the child's growing sense of self. it gives the child much more information and vital proof that they have indeed been seen and valued and in a greater sense they then know they can value themselves. The "explained' complement give the child a sense of "I can" and of "I am capable." Here are some examples:

I love the way you are choosing to be cooperative.

You are showing you have good great ears; you are listening very well.

I see the way you are paying attention to detail and I appreciate that skill.

I like the way you are having consideration for others.

You are using a low level voice in the classroom and that is a helpful choice.

I really appreciate how you are planning well...you are being very organized.

I notice that you are using your time well and accomplishing a lot.

You are showing real talent for this assignment in the way you are putting all these pieces of information together.

You are acting creatively in a way that is giving your project flair.

You are being very successful by using good teamwork.

I like how you are looking out for others. That's a nice quality.

I want to appreciate your talent for having unique ideas.

You are being surprising in the kinds of wonderful ideas you are coming up with.

I like the creativity you are using. you are being dazzling.

Thank you for contributing to the happy mood in the classroom right now.

It really looks like you are feeling the joy of discovery...congratulations.

You are showing amazing forethought. i like how you trusted your knowing how things would work out.

You are being marvelous in how you are showing perseverance.

I want to acknowledge how you are being dedicated to success.

You have taken this project beyond my imagination and I am very impressed.

You are being powerful in the way you are managing your emotions.

You are bringing out the best in others.

I appreciate how you are handling your strong emotions very well.

I see that you are making great choices to get along nicely with your classmates.

I like how you are choosing what's important. That shows excellent judgment.

You are demonstrating magnificent thinking.

That is brilliant thought you are expressing!

You are being eye-popping awesome right now by choosing to follow the rules.

I like how you are showing zest by doing your best on this assignment.

I like how you are acting in a spirited manner. You are inspiring others.

I really like how you are going above and beyond expectations.

You are exceeding expectations with a great attitude to boot.

You are being inspiring in the way you are conducting yourself.

You are being courageous to break away from the pack and do the work in a way that's true to yourself.

You are being like sunshine to others. you're writing has made others feel good.

You are being wise. That is a great quality that is coming across in your diplomacy.

You are showing great curiosity which is a great way to learn.

I really like how you are respecting yourself and others.

You are using your great mind to figure out how to be successful. Congratulations.

You are showing an open mind to new ideas. I like that a lot.

You seem to be seeing the big picture.

That was a very insightful inference you just shared.

That was a delightful deduction you just made to figure out the answer. Well done.

That was a solid educated guess and it is correct. That is a very important skill.

You are being diligent in monitoring your progress accurately.

You are showing a quick mind for picking up this new and difficult material.

I like how you are finding new possibilities in the ordinary.

I want to acknowledge the inner wisdom that is shining through in your class participation.

I see your determination and the effort you have made.

I really like the sense the inner beauty that comes through in this art work.

I am appreciating your excellent use of logic.

I am enjoying your use of clarity in the words you use to express yourself.

I like how you are channeling your excitement.

I am admiring your contribution to the discussion.

I appreciate the collaboration and helpfulness you are contributing to your group.

Thank you for handling that situation in a gracious way.

I appreciate that you are working independently.

I appreciated the kindness you are showing our new student.

Thanks for showing your generosity.

Thanks for using integrity. you made a great decision to help even though you did not have to.

You have shown a wonderful sense of awareness in sensing the needs of others.

I want to acknowledge you for using your inner wisdom in making that good choice just now.

I like how you are using great analytic skills in your problem solving.

I appreciate the intelligence in your answer to the question.

Thanks for showing good responsibility.

Thanks for being so courteous.

I like the passion in your art work. It shows a lot of life force and beauty.

You are so intuitive!

You really go to the essence of the topic quickly.

That is an excellent use of subtle cues.

What awareness of the implications.

Those are ideas we need to hear.

Your being here is a great contribution in itself.

You have a likable mood everyday.

You are a "need to know" person.

Your humor is like a hidden treasure.

You idea is a great insight that should lead us closer to the point I am trying to make in this discussion.

That folks is an educated guess!

You are really expanding the possibilities here with those great associations.

[heartswell]

take another look at these --- what else can be added?
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Jan, MOMmm! (Masters Of Motherhood, Mentoring & Motivation!