Read What People Are Saying About The Nurtured Heart Approach:

Women Today Magazine/ August 30, 2001
http://www.womentodaymagazine.com/family/difficult.html

From Sandra Reif, author of several bestselling books on ADHD:

Dear Howie,

I just finished reading 'Transforming the Difficult Child'.  I very much
appreciate having met you briefly at Raun Melmed's conference, and thank you
for your generosity in giving me a copy of your book.  I can honestly say it
was one of the best books I have ever read - one that gave me much to ponder
and will cause me to re-examine some of my own recommendations and
suggestions to parents and teachers.  Your approach makes perfect sense as
described, and I don't believe there is a parent or professional anywhere
who wouldn't benefit from your advice or training.  Besides the content of
the book - the clear explanations to enable parents to gain skill in this
therapeutic process -  I also loved the way the book was written.  Your (and
Jennifer's) frequent use of metaphors/analogies and examples given so
effectively and memorably reinforce your positive message; and I loved the
respectful and positively-framed terminology you use throughout the book in
referring to this population of children and their parents.  Anyway, I wish
you continued success in your very important work.  What is the status of
your charter school?

Please know that your book is going to be among my 'must read' list of
recommended resources whenever I have the opportunity to share with parents
and teachers.  By the way, do you allow other vendors to carry your book?
If so, at what price per copy?  I would like to include if possible in the
Educational Resource Specialists catalog (see our website
www.sandrarief.com).

I hope to have the opportunity to see you again, and hear more about your
work.

Warm regards,

Sandy

__________________________________
 

________________________________________________________

From Tina Feigal, Minnesota School Pyschologist:

Tucson family therapist Howard Glasser has developed a powerful, fast,
effective way to help children with challenging behavior to be the best that
they can be.  His Nurtured Heart Approach does several things: enhances the
relationship between parents and child, helps the child to gain control over
his/her behavior, increases self-esteem in the child, and facilitates the
child's successes!!!  The effects are lifelong, and the Nurtured Heart
Approach is easy for parents and teachers to implement.  Sound too good to be
true?  That's what I thought until I realized that Glasser is truly helping
to transform even the most challenging children.  In Tucson, the Head Start
Program uses the Nurtured Heart Approach only in the classroom.  There have
been NO referrals to mental health care since this practice was begun.  That
is an amazing fact, since the truly at-risk children are often the ones who
use Head Start's services.  Thousands of parents all over the country are
finding that their children's lives can be improved significantly by the
Nurtured Heart Approach, and many have been able to avoid medications or stop
taking the ones the have already been prescribed.  This approach deserves our
attention!
 

Reviews sent to Amazon.com by readers:

yaba daba doo!, August 4, 2001
Reviewer: momofsuperhero (see more about me) from Santa Cruz, CA
Trust me to tell you to trust Howard Glasser! I've read it all in grad school and in parenting my now 4 year old child. most of his reviews are fabulous. Howard is simply getting out a simple message that we as parents and educators have somehow overlooked and forgotten in our ever so busy lives a simple detail that really helps challenging children. The idea is to attend to your child's positve actions more than her negative ones, and to give these positive actions your utmost heart felt appreciation while acknowledging the negative ones with the least bit of your precious energy and time. Because most of us give more time to our children when they are doing something wrong then when they are doing something right we are feeding our children the wrong food through the wrong tube. Being the bright kids that they are they catch on to this torturous technique and run with it. The old hum hum "good job" doesn't give a child as many "bells and whistles" as the five minute reprimand does. I even think that such behavior like a parent running in front of the tv, arms waving and mouth screaming , "IF YOU ARE NOT WASHED AND IN BED IN FIVE MINUTES I AM GOING TO POUR A BUCKET OF WATER OVER YOU AND DO IT MY SELF" seems worth waiting to see and hey it probably means more punishment (a.k.a more of your energy more of your time) but hey thats all the difficult child really wants any way. A great show and a five star performance by an ever growing frustrated but damn good actress means that this challenging/difficult child has the only invite to your show and the best seat in the house. Hey I'd even nominate you for that one and stay for the encore (oh and while your up waving those arms and giving me some of that good old energy can you give me a refill on my coke and some more butter on my popcorn...I knew you'd mine). The child is screaming inside for more more more gimme gimme gimme. What would you do if you were stranded on an island no good grub to be found? Well I just might bet that you just might eat sand if you were hungry enough...it may not be tasty, but its all your getting until that ship "in shining steel" arrives with some tasty cuisine. Sand, like your negative energy, doesn't do much for the hungry soul does it? But it is a quick fix for now so you're going to take it and look for more next time your stomach growls. Howard reminds us to simply begin a pattern of acknowledging, with all genuine exuberance and energy, the child for his "just being" and for his efforts of both doing right AND NOT doing wrong. When we do have to reprimand and issue a consequence for undesirable behavior it is done with such non-chalant behavior and emotion that any hollywood agent would fear for your career. The backbone of his techinque and theory seems to be for you to make sure the difficult child has enough emotional ammunition or emotional nutrtion through your daily acknowledgments of the good behavior so that he doesn't seek out more intense usually negative means to get your attention or energy. Heck, if you are doing the little tv dance waving your arms and screaming to get his attention wouldn't common sense dictate that he would be doing the same to get yours and your energy if he needed more from you. bottom line: read the best book on technique change some little lives its an investment in the future. P.S. by the way, howard's repititon is a good thing ... the cocepts STICK and you come away from this book feeling like your empowered with SPECIFIC TOOLS AND EXAMPLES to help a child, your child, our child. His great web site is www.difficultchild.com

The most effective approach I've found!, July 22, 2001
Reviewer: J.D. CASHEN (see more about me) from Mesa, AZ United States
Howard Glasser's insight on what feeds a childs behavior has given me back my son! I was a parent at wit's end - dreading coming home at the end of the day. There were constant power struggles and "incidents" that made me want to runaway from home! But after reading "Transforming the Difficult Child" and later viewing the video, I found the motivation that caused my son to behave the way that he did. In the very first week of trying Dr. Glasser's method, I saw immediate improvement. Now I look forward to spending time with my son because I know how NOT to respond and discipline.

This book is a must for any parent who finds that the 'traditional' discipline methods only make things worse. It's a loving, nurturing, and best of all, effective alternative that will net you results. There's hope here!!

My experience, May 9, 2001
Reviewer: A reader
"While quite puzzled at first, our 10-year-old absolutely "blossomed" with our use of the methods developed by Howard Glasser. While the book itself was effective in getting reasonably fast and positive results, attending the presentation was all the more helpful and supportive, and it provided more tactics, ideas and examples to make the program an even greater success. We had almost given up, I thought it was too late to break old habits!" - Nan Macy

From hopelessness and despair to HOPEFULNESS and JOY!, April 30, 2001
Reviewer: missy
This approach is WONDERFUL and while the writing style could use a bit of polishing (it is a bit repetative) I don't think that's what's important here. It's the concepts behind the whole approach that are important. I'd give it a hundred stars if I could.

Our situation is anything but typical........my niece (11) and nephew (7) came to live with my 12 year old daughter and I about 6 1/2 months ago.

These children had been through a horrific time in their lives. Neglect, severe verbal abuse, physical abuse, witnesses of domestic violence, sexual molestation (both of them), and even a psychiatric hospitalization for my niece when she was 10.

After the first week they were with me, when I think everyone was just relieved they were safe, all the negative behavior they had learned started to surface.

Things were so bad I thought I wasn't going to be able to cope. Then I found this book and while it was somewhat difficult to get started at first it was MOST DEFINATELY worth the effort!

If you have a "difficult child" or know one get this book!

...Our in home counselor (who has a master's in psychology) says the tranformation in the children is AMAZING (her word).

It's a beautiful thing to see two such hurt and troubled children blossom and start to realize how wonderful they are and how successful they can be!

Thank you Howard Glasser!

I can't believe how much this book make sense!!!, April 28, 2001
Reviewer: Rebecca Gaut from Waterville, Washington
I have been waiting on this book for some time now, and when I stated looking at I wasn't sure that I was going to buy it. I can't tell you how glad I am that I did. I started to read the first chapter and couldn't stop. I can't wait to try this appraoch on my son. I like the book so much that I am going to one of the seminar's that Howard Glasser does to help reinforce what I have learn. I recommend this book to anyone who has a child that is very intense . You will not regret it .

More Than Other Systems, April 8, 2001
Reviewer: maria dayton from USA
I hope no one really thinks of this like other methods. Yes, I've read and tried many of them too, but don't fool yourself. No other system I've found makes the success piece anywhere as powerful as these methods. Also, no other system that I know of gets the part about not accidentally rewarding negativity nearly as clean as this. I thought I was good at this already and I wound up finding all kinds of subtle ways through reading this book where I was giving energy to negativity. Changing that made an immediate impact. And the clincher was the perfectly clean way that rules, consequences and accountability happens in this system. I should say bravo. My husband and I have made a huge difference in the lives of our children in completely positive ways. This is so much more than standard fare behavior management. The compelling part is how clearly nurturing and heart-centered this method is. The part about how to work with the rules is so different but the effect is like magic. I wish I knew this when my children were younger. I would have done this from birth. I couldn't imagine giving a stronger recommendation. The metaphors and examples are perfect and the effect is greater than you can imagine.

Thank you, April 4, 2001
Reviewer: A reader from Seattle, WA
Finally I have found a method that makes a difference. My child has responded instantly to these strategies. The book truly makes the points so clearly and all the examples are perfect. Thank you for this book. I couldn't be more pleased.

An Answer to our Prayers, February 16, 2001
Reviewer: Barbara J from PORT LAVACA, TEXAS USA
This book is terrific. It has been an answer to our prayers. I can't say enough about the wonderful changes in our 5yr old daughter. If you have read all the books and nothing is helping, please try one more. The techniques work and it's easy to do. Our daughter feels confident, we feel confident in our parenting. We saw improvements immediately and things just keep getting better. Before reading this book and applying these techniques, we were sure medication was in our future. We are so proud of her and she is so proud of herself. IT'S WONDERFUL!!

No More Fighting, January 28, 2001
Reviewer: Mark Woodrow (see more about me) from USA
Not only was the fighting most everyday prdictable between my children, but it was beginning to get pretty rough between my wife and I. She'd be mad at me for trying to come down hard when things were falling apart and I'd be half crazy when she would just let things go or always trying to solve things by just being nice and talking things through. Neither way was working very well and we were falling apart. We haven't been anything but peaceful lately. It's been much more loving and I can't tell you how nice that feels. This book gave me the step by step way to make this happen.

Exceptional, January 27, 2001
Reviewer: Gail Hemmer (see more about me) from USA
After sharing my success using this approach in my family I took the risk of recommending the Nurtured Heart Approach to a number of my friends. It has resulted in many exceptional stories of change in our families. The changes in our stress levels, our relationships with our spouses and our children are really pretty amazing. I'm at the point where I really trust that this is something I can keep going and I can see how this will just continue to help my child grow in the direction of success. He's already so much more respectful and responsible and his attitude and cooperation is so improved already.

A God Send, January 24, 2001
Reviewer: Mary Shave from Plano, TX United States
To say Howard Glasser and his incredibly insightful book have put peace in my life would not be profound enough. I read Transforming the Difficult Child the Nurtured Heart Approach and immediately followed it up with his workshop that I flew across country for. What a true blessing this approach has been. Our difficult child is a joy and is taking such pride in her school work these days. Her teacher not only noticed the change but after I gave her one of Howard's books as a gift she has now implemented it in classroom. Following the workshop I completed a survey with the comments, "When are you coming to Dallas? This information will change the world." Well, here I am planning the Dallas workshop in May. It is that profound! This "nurtured heart approach" works with ALL children and even your spouse. It is so simple, so nurturing, so refreshing and builds self confidence in the parent and their abilities as well as the children. This is an investment that you will never regret, never out-grow, and will pass on for generations. Enjoy!

Great Stuff, November 20, 2000
Reviewer: Lesley Newmark from USA
I'm not normally given to using superlatives, but this book is remarkable. I have two children: one an eight year-old with Attention Defict Hyperactivity Disorder who had been doing horribly at school calls home every other day) and worse at home (non-stop opposition and arguments), and a ten year-old daughter who had always been delightful, but who had recently started being resentful. Both children are doing so much better. It's been about two months since I started employing the techniques in the book. They have so greatly nurtured both children. My daughter's back to being wonderful, but even more motivated and respectful than ever and my son's just the biggest surprise. He is showing so much dignity and ability to make good choices and using good self-control and the presence of all the other qualities that the authors taught me to spark. It's almost like my son is refusing to break the rules. The authors use analogies and examples so well. I really relied on all the examples to help me implement the strategies. I've given several copies of the book to people I knew were having similar problems and the sense I am getting s that they have had equivalent success. I think the best part is that my fianc'e and my parents are now taking my ability to parent seriously and have followed my lead in terms of following the model. These are people who were always giving me advise because they didn't exactly believe in my abilities.

You'll just love this book, November 19, 2000
Reviewer: Rita Reuben from New York City
The first thing I love about this book is that I don't feel blamed. It really confirmed to me that all this time I was simply doing the best I could with the ways I new...which is absolutely true...and that there was a reason why all those normal methods didn't work. And better yet there is a way that works. The approach makes total sense. It's so easy and so powerful. This should be required reading for all new parents. Well, so much for my child's ADHD...It's disappeared and been replaced by this loving and cooperative child. They should make it required reading for all the doctors who prescribe medications ten minutes after meeting a child (like they did with mine) so that they can have another way to truly help children.

WOW, November 18, 2000
Reviewer: lee marx
This is the most astounding book I've ever read on parenting ever. The ideas are a revelation and the methods have worked so well that my friends and family are speechless about the changes with my formerly challenging children. They used to always feel either sorry for me or angry with me and give me a constant stream of advice. I still can hardly believe that they are complementing me now on my parenting prowess. My children are doing so well and I'm not worried that it will fall apart. It feels totally solid. Thank you angels.

Finding my daughter, October 20, 2000
Reviewer: Tina Taylor Deason (see more about me) from Edmond, Oklahoma
My beautiful daughter was misdiagnosed with ADHD in March 2000 and was just about to be kicked out of a public school. Ironically, she's gifted with a high IQ and the most loving child I know. But Difficult is her middle name. I was absolutely at a loss. I found this book on the internet and ordered it as quickly as I could. I devoured the pages and felt that I could start implementing the system right away. My daughter responded almost immediately and the joy was utterly amazing. The progress over 2 months has been enormous. Although her school doesn't implement the methodology completely, what I have done at home has allowed her to experience success at school and at home. This book saved our family, simply put. I would recommend it to anyone!

Who edited this book?, September 26, 2000
Reviewer: A reader from San Diego, Ca USA
The concept of this book is great. I have put the system to work and so far, it's fantastic. My daughter has responded extremely well to this system and I am very happy with our results! Very happy indeed. For the first time in 4 years my daughter is going to sleep without a fuss. (Trust me, this kid HATES to go to sleep, and I am being polite when I say "fuss").

I am just about positive my daughter has ODD, or Oppositional Defiancy Disorder. I have implemented the credit system for positive behavoirs and she loves it! She looks forward to getting credits at the end of the day for the multitud of positive behavoirs that she can "get points" for.

However, the book is so poorly written I had to put it down many times and walk away, or I was going to throw the darn book in the trash. I knew that there was a concept in the book somewhere that was going to work for my daughter and I. But the book was is so full of metaphors, and SO repetitive, it never really does get to the darn point! Every single time I thought the book was going to get to the point, it stopped dead in it's tracks and started with the metaphors again.

Out of frustration, I finally took a highlighter and started highlighting sentences that had to do with explaining how to deal with difficult children, and how this program worked. Only then was I able to start assimilating the information contained within, and work my way around all of the 'filler'.

Also, you need to give more ideas on how to actually, materially, give credits, or record the credits. I finally devised my own way. The book said there was more information about this, but darn if I can find it. Even the table of contents is vague, not descriptive enough to help one find what they are looking for.

If you have a challenging child, get the book, try the system! It works wonders.

Jackie ~ San Diego California

Reason to hope:, August 23, 2000
Reviewer: Jane Law (see more about me) from Brooklyn, NY USA
Last night I implemented just the first part of "Nurtured Heart"-- by first observing my two sons (age 10 and 14) and making as many positive statements as I could muster. The result was nothing short of miraculous! "I appreciate your self-control, honey, in not hitting your little brother even though I could see you were very frustrated with him...etc" Simple yet powerful words. My fourteen yr old, who has been diagnosed with ADHD and who is recently off all medicine has consumed us with worry for the last couple of years. He is a challenging, yet very bright boy. So he fits the profile of the child for whom this book is targeted.

However after using the first step in the strategy from Dr Glasser's book, my son went into the kitchen, put his dishes in the dishwasher and then started bundling the recyclables and garbage and taking it out to the cans. He has been responsible for these jobs for several years, but this is absolutely the first time ever, that he has done them without being told to--usually several times. Nothing has encouraged us like this book has and we have engaged in everything from individual therapy to medication--yet in a single week the program Glasser and Easley outline has literally transformed our family.

This book is designed to help parents with kids who are not average--usually bright but intense and helplessly invested in the negative attention there behavior gets them. The basic premise is that traditional parenting techniques ie reward/punishment or lecturing /admonishing just are not effective with kids who are this intense.

The book is explicit and easy to implement--and for once--there is not a hyperfocus on "disorder" and the lifelong "sentence" that implies--the emphasis is on building true self esteem and success with these youngsters with lessons that will help them grow into successful adults. This book upends the dominant trend to medicate first (and foremost) and outlines strategies that have enabled kids to either not start medication or stop Ritalin and other psychostimulants altogether.

This book has certainly given us the confidence to successfully help our son. Thank you so much for writing this book--

The Nurtured Heart Approach has completely bettered my life., August 15, 2000
Reviewer: Sarah Weber (see more about me) from USA
As a teacher and foster parent of both many normal and many challenging children for quite a few years, I have stumbled upon an approach that has made all the difference in the world. I used to be like everyone else...I tried as hard as I could with the methods I knew...and the problems often seemed to get worse...despite my good intentions. That was hard work. That's all changed. Now I can shift a challenging child to using his or her intensity in wonderful ways in an amazingly short period of time...even the more difficult children. The normal children I work with just seem to flourish as a result. They seem to be so much stronger on the inside in positive ways. Many of the children I work with also had significant issues not only with behaviors, but with underfunctioning academically or not participating or doing homework. It's amazing how this approach freed up the children's intelligence to use in a straight forward successful way. I am now on a mission to share what I know and hopefully help parents, teachers and ultimately the children. This approach has worked out beautifully for everyone else I know who tried it. Best Wishes,

Sarah Weber

These techniques are great, August 9, 2000
Reviewer: Andrew Burstein (see more about me) from Phoenix
These techniques are great. They are so different than all I thought I knew from a great deal of previous reading. I am so pleased with results that I have seen over the last month with both my ADHD sons. Single parenting hasn't been easy but I feel like I see the light at the end of the tunnel now. I had been overwhelmed for several years and now I feel a tremendous sense of relief. My kids are doing great.
 

Excellent!, August 7, 2000
Reviewer: www.rexanne.com (see more about me) from United States
After reading Howard Glasser and Jennifer Easley's excellent book, "Transforming the Difficult Child," I felt a surge of hope for the more problematic children in our world. Finally, someone had discovered how to help parents manage difficult children in a positive, loving way and without medication!

Most of the children Glasser and Easley have worked with were taking medication when they arrived at the Nurtured Heart Approach center. These same children are no longer medicated into submission but living bright, successful lives. These children needed a little or a lot more attention than the average child but were being raised with traditional parenting skills that were rendered ineffective because of their ultra-sensitive natures. The parents of these children needed to learn to apply another set of rules to their kids to help them become the wonderful people they were destined to be.

The Nurtured Heart Approach is an easy, rational, beautiful and loving method of building on the successes of children while not giving energy to the negative aspects of their character. This is an approach that can be used on difficult or "normal" kids. I have begun applying these principles to my own methods of child rearing. They work quickly and magnificintly! It's brilliant in its simplicity and effectiveness.

If you have a difficult child or even if you would like to learn a new positive, ingenious parenting approach, I urge you to read Glasser and Easley's book.
 

Transforming the Difficult Child, August 3, 2000
Reviewer: Sarah Keller from Oregon
We had reached the end of our rope with our four year old son. Nothing was working. The more he fought us, the more we punished. His behavior was worsening daily. I found this book and read it cover to cover. The methods taught in this book are terrific. It explains things simply, and it's easy to get started. In the first week of practicing these methods, our son was a completely different child. He realized that he didn't have to act up to get our attention. It was amazingly simple. We enjoy being in his company again, and our family is stronger now. I recomend this book to anyone who has(or works with)kids.
 

A School Psychologist's Point of View, July 24, 2000
Reviewer: tfeigal (see more about me) from Eden Prairie, MN United States
Transforming the Difficult Child is a revolutionary approach to helping families and schools deal with children's behavior problems. It is a compassionate, effective approach that should be implemented by Emotional/Behavioral Disorder programs in schools everywhere, and by families who are struggling with their children's behavior. There is nothing I don't like about the Nurtured Heart Approach...it eases the tension and removes the power struggle. Glasser has been successful in turning the lives of countless children around. We cannot afford to ignore his wisdom. I recommend his book wholeheartedly!
 

Humane and effective approach, April 18, 2000
Reviewer: Elaine Gibson (see more about me) from Dallas, Tx.USA
Traditional parenting fails with difficult kids. Neither "tough love" nor passive acceptance work with challenging children. This approach is solid and respectful producing results that will last a lifetime. Any parent with a difficult child NEEDS this book with extra copies for grandparents and the child's teachers. There really is hope.
 

The Nurtured Heart Approach is outstanding! It WORKS!!!!!, October 19, 1999
Reviewer: Dr. Nanci R. Aiken from Arizona
This remarkable book has already transformed the lives of several families of my acquaintance. As a grandmother, I wish I had had this book when I was raising my own children. After describing the book and the Nurtured Heart Approach to my daughters, they urgently requested copies. They are now using the Nurtured Heart Approach with great success. This book guides parents through the process of learning how to give energy to the positive, in a loving, structured way, so that these remarkable children are able to focus their energies into dynamically constructive channels. As Mr. Glasser remarks, these "challenging" children are among our brightest, and are potentially our future leaders. The Nurtured Heart Approach allows them to develop their talents in a positive way. Thank you, Howard Glasser!
 

Family therapists will find this book valuable, July 15, 1999
Reviewer: A reader from United States
As a family therapist, I think this book describes the best approach I have found in helping parents be affective with their difficult child. I believe every therapist would find benefit in learning this model and would find this book to be a valuable resource.

A book I am passing on to every parent I know!, July 10, 1999
Reviewer: A reader from Arizona
These techniques are easy, make total sense and get results quickly. My friends and I are using them on kids of all types and are witnessing increased success in all aspects of behavior, social skills, and self esteem. Looking forward to future publications by these authors